What is the story behind Teasturbed?

Teasturbed in its initial form was a personal ritual I developed to cope with my severe post partum anxiety, but it has since evolved into a larger community project to provide accessible, free-of-charge support sessions for struggling new moms in the Seattle area where I live. You can find out more about this on the Commune page, but if you’re here just for the tea, you’ll probably find answers below. Remember that every teasturbed blend you purchase helps sustain the Teasturbed Commune, so you’re not a customer, but a contributer. 

What am I getting when I order a Teasturbed Blend?

I’ve formulated four tea blends with the base ingredients of oolong, green tea, chamomile and honeybush, complimented with various herbs and spices that give each blend a unique flavor, as wells as distinctive health benefits; although I suggest not overestimating those. I source the herbs and spices from Washington’s legendary MarketSpice where they’re also mixed and sealed safely according to FDA standards. Each Teasturbed blend weighs 2 ounces, and comes sealed in a plastic bag placed inside a bamboo canister. You will pour the tea into the canister and shake well before brewing, preferably every time. Tea does not really expire, but it will lose flavor and some of the health benefits in time.

What is it with the hand-drawn packaging? I am looking for a gift.

I had the bamboo Teasturbed canisters custom-made so that I can treat each one as a blank canvas. After I receive your order, I handwrite your name and the blend’s title (using a stencil) and stain with ink-strokes. This also makes Teasturbed great personalized gifts for the tea lover in your life. There’s a box during check out where you can write the name of the person you’re gifting to. You can also indicate here if you don’t want any names on it all. 

Loose leaf? But I don't want to make a whole pot every time.

That’s me most of the time. Just get a stainless-steel tea infuser which is the most environment-friendly option. However if you like staying on theme, I do have biodegradable corn fiber teabags so you can have the Teasturbed logo dangling on the side of your cup to satisfy the yearning for uniformity. To be honest, I initially thought they are a great idea but now I am torn about the enviromental ethics of these teabags, even though they are biodegrable, so I won’t be ordering more after they’re all sold. I also removed them from the shop page and only reference them here, which is kind of counter-productive since they are getting sold very very very slowly and the inventory may outlive me. I have no logical explanation for this choice.

Is shipping free? I can't with all the extra fees and costs added to the initial price.

Good news: shipping is free! Bad news: It’s not really free in the sense that we all would like to believe. I just integrated the average cost of shipping to the price, creating the illusion of a good deal. But in reality free-shipping could actually be a worse deal for the buyer, because you are paying for the “average” shipping cost, while your actual cost could be lower. But anyway, since we’re on the topic, it can take up to five business days from the day of the order for me to ship your tea. From there it’ll probably take up to 5 more days before you recieve it. If for whatever reason I couldn’t ship it within the promised time, I’ll communicate with you and you’ll get a refund if the delayed time frame doesn’t work for you.

Can I return this? I need that sense of security before ordering anything online.

Not really since it’s food, but there are exceptions. I have a page dedicated to the Return Policy which made sense when I was making it, but now I question that decision. In hindsight, I could probably have fit all that info here. Oh well!