Unhappy Consciousness


for the fully aware human that realizes their fluctuating nothingness, and submit themselves to an illusion of meaning consciously.

ingredients: oolong tea, rosehips, rose petals, peppermint, orange peel, anise seeds, star anise and granulated ginger.

directions: depending on how intense you like your oolong, steep for 2-4 minutes in boiled and then slightly cooled water, to around 90 ℃. I don’t know what that is in Fahrenheit and quite frankly, if we all refuse to learn, the whole imperial system will come crashing down and we’d be collectively blessed by the decimal gratification of metric system.

Out of stock

this blend is oolong based to provide you with the much-needed caffeine fix of the day; which is balanced with the tang of rosehips and floral notes of the rose petals. You’ll feel a depth of flavor that emenates from the combination of mexican anise seeds and peppermint. one single star anise in the blend is purely ornamental. ginger? ginger just needs to be in every tea blend. you can up the kick with additional fresh ginger slices! this recommendation is valid for all the existing and non-existing tea blends.

shipping could take up to five business days from the day of the order, since each canister is custom-made for you by a mom of a toddler who has a part-time day job as a video producer, teaches weekly after-school music classes and also tries to release music into this world in semi-regular intervals.

each Teasturbed blend comes in a sealed plastic bag placed inside the canister. open the bag (duh) and pour the blend in. shake it well before each usage so all the ingredients are distributed evenly, unless you like being on your toes about the surprising flavors of an uneven blend. I don’t. I like predictable and routine.

but I don’t want to brew a whole pot, you say? no problem. get a stainless-steel tea infuser which is the most environment-friendly option! no, I don't have those yet, although I do plan on curating my favorite utensils here at some point. but if you like staying on theme, I do have biodegradable corn fiber teabags so you can have the Teasturbed logo dangling on the side of your cup.

make your Teasturbed blend a gift by mentioning who it is from and who is it for in the notes when you’re ordering.

Additional information

Weight 0.15 kg
Dimensions 8.30 × 8.30 × 15.00 cm
FREE Shipping

well, nothing is really free. I just integrated the average cost of shipping in the price to create the illusion of a good deal that the so-called "free shipping" creates. but if you really think about it, free-shipping could actually be a worse deal for the buyer, because you are paying for the “average” shipping cost, while your actual shipping cost could be lower. so yeah, nothing is really free. but we could and should have a single payer healthcare, and can very much afford it if we wage less wars. on a side-note, automation is here to stay, so stop trying to save dead-end jobs and put the energy into UI instead. and make tea, not war.

Refund Policy

all sales are final and no refunds are given at anytime, unless special circumstances arise, like a lost package or something.